Men and women are different in many ways. This also applies to when men and women are engaged in sexual intimacy.
Men
“men are like microwaves” this phrase indicates how easily men are to be aroused
Men have a refractory period
Men have their highest sex drive at age 18-19
When men climax dopamine and serotonin are released
Women
“women are like crockpots” this phrase refers to how women take longer to become aroused
Women have a higher sex drive when they feel safe and secure
Women’s peak sex drive is at ages 30-35
When women climax oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine are released
These differences can cause problems in a relationship. Tension can build between the couple because of miscommunication. Miscommunication of feelings and thoughts. A husband could think that his wife doesn’t love him or is prudent because she isn’t always “in the mood” when he is. Or a wife could think that her husband is “a selfish horn-dog” who only wants to have sex. Frustration can occur on the side of the wife because she doesn’t have the tension release that her husband gets because he climaxes before she does. After sex, since women get a release of Oxycontin they desire to cuddle afterwards, but the husband is in his refractory period and is to tired to so that attachment between them isn’t satisfied on the women’s end. There’s also the fact that when something is pleasurable at one point it could be very unpleasant in another time of intimacy. Another thing is people expect sex to be an easy thing that is effortless. Whereas in reality it is something that requires a lot of communication and delicacy. After we are married we should approach sex delicately as an act of togetherness and check with each other throughout.
What truly is sex?
Sex can be a selfless act that could cause great satisfaction or a selfish act that could cause great dissatisfaction.
In 1 Corinthians 7:1-7 it talks about what sex is to be between a husband and wife and how infidelity is TO BE avoided.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
(Be very generous to each other and be understanding)
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
(both the man and the women are to rely on each other)
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
(Do not cheat one another and be selfish when being sexually intimate)
Now to touch on the second verse, “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” To avoid fornication we are to leave a married person alone. In my class, we talked about how when a spouse goes outside of the relationship to talk to someone it risks infidelity. When a they do this is weakens and strains the marital bond. When a wife goes to her mother or her girls to talk about her problems with her husband it weakens the bond between the husband and wife (and vice versa with a husband). If you have a problem with something your spouse is doing TALK to them. Figure out how to solve the problem together.
DO NOT talk to your friends or even strangers (of the opposite sex or even same sex) about intimate information! THIS IS DANGEROUS and will likely lead to developing unwarranted feelings and even infidelity. This intimate information should only be kept between you and your spouse. Make sure your friends know, even before you get married, the boundary of what you will talk about and WONT talk about. If they have a concern about something tell them you will listen to your concern but what happens between you and your spouse, or fiancé, stays between you guys. Again to bring the bible into this, it says that we are to cleave unto our spouses and build a boundary between our parents (AND FRIENDS). This is the best way to avoid infidelity and problems with the in-laws.
Another thing I want to touch on real quick is how we, as Christians, approach talking to children and adolescents about sex. Either adults shy away from it or they inflict shame and terror. We tell them that if they engage in sexual activities before they are married that they will not be desirable to others or that they are soiled. We try to strike fear into their hearts as they grow up and when it comes to being married men and women feel ashamed to have sex. Instead of feeling like it is an act of love and bonding between them and their spouse, they feel like they are doing something dirty and unforgivable, they feel shame. I want to leave you guys with a link to a resource The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has provided for new parents called the Parents Guide. This link will take you to a online book that will help you when and how to talk to your children about intimate and sexual things. We should help them understand their bodies and let them know that they are loved no matter what mistakes or decisions they make. We should help them understand why the law of chastity is a thing and how much more sex will mean to them when they are married. Instead of telling them they are like a piece of gum that has been touched by many people.
Thoughts on Families: An Insight into The Family 